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A Better Option Than Uber

My friend Corey B and I came up with a brilliant idea back in 2002. We were sitting around drinking beer and watching sports while reading the bottom headlines cross the tv. We kept seeing sports stars getting arrested for doing dumb ass things. Driving either drunk or high with girlfriends or escorts seemed to come up often.

The Thrill of Sports photo

We kept coming up with the same question, “WHY?” Why are you driving drunk or high at fast speeds down the freeway? Why are you driving drunk or high with your “friend” who happens to be a “girl” while your wife is at home with the kids? Why would someone with the amount of money you have not get a cab?

Remember these are pre Uber days. Even if Uber had been around, I am pretty confident that they still would have not utilized cab services. We could only come up with two logical conclusions. First off, they drive a really nice car and don’t want to leave it at the party. Which I can understand.  Secondly, they thought if they got pulled over their celebrity status would get them out of the jam. Which it rarely did.

The Thrill of Sports photo

So we came up with a brilliant idea!

Corey and Jim’s driving service for pro athletes. It was just the two of us so we would have to start small. We would have pitched it to the infamous Jailblazers at that time.

Here was our pitch. Hire us to be on call and we will drive the athlete’s car home for them. We would even take them to their favorite hotel with their “friend” who happens to be a “girl.” We would drop them off where ever they wanted to be dropped off in their car.

Back then there weren’t cell phones always at the ready to take photos. Their secrets would have been safe with us. The very next day they would have their car in their drive way, safe and sound. They would be home safe and no one would know about the night before. Brilliant, right?

I know teams now days provide taxi or limo rides home, but the athletes don’t want that. They don’t want to admit that they had too much to drink, smoked to much weed or had too many pills. Their egos couldn’t handle it. Why should they?

The Thrill of Sports photo

We would just show up, drive them in their nice ride back to their crib, such an early 2000’s word, and start it all over the next day. I mean this was a win, win for everyone involved.

Hell the team could be our employer. We would build relationships with the athletes. We would drive really fast down the highway and never mention who they took home. We even would have gone the extra mile and bought weed for them.

We just wanted to help them out and of course make some solid money. Pro teams would have paid us handsomely. We would keep their players on the court or field. We would have helped the players avoid nasty court appearances, fines, and media scrutiny. That alone is worth at least $50,000!

If it would have taken off with the Blazers, we could have expanded into other cities. We could have become nationwide. We could have had our company traded on the stock market. We could have been the biggest thing in sports. We could have had it all and would have done it all to keep these athletes out of trouble. You name it we would have done it. Except deflate footballs. That is just plain fucked up! Sorry Tom, but if you drink too much and want to get your car home safely, call me….

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2 comments

  1. I have often thought the same damn thing? With all their money how hard would it be to cab or rent a limo! You want my opinion the damn NFL created the Deflategate issue! Why doesn’t the NFL control the balls? By not controlling the balls they are just creating this problem! Shame on the NFL!

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