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Catfished: Adventures With Jayde

Jayde here.

Adventures With Jayde photo

I decided to give Tinder another whirl and swiped right on this “nice” boy in Duncan, OK when I was visiting my sister during the fourth of July holiday week. Possibly the worst idea ever.

Screw you Tinder.

Anyhow, the story goes T and I got to know each other for a month before I decided to take a trip back to OK to visit him. He was this amazing investigator for the town he lived in. He lived off the golf course in the nicer part of town. He was tall, handsome, twenty-nine with a stable career and life. After all, this was something I always felt I needed…..right?

Bloody wrong!

The entire trip was a flippin nightmare!! Not only was I somewhat “Catfished” by the entirety of his lies and deceitfulness, I ended up actually sleeping in his ghetto ass car for a night.

Not by choice of course–and yeah…. that… flippin… happened!

So after two weeks of planning and a night of no sleep because I was far too excited I was about to meet the man of my dreams, I flew private charter to DFW. (Yeah the same airport I was arrested from just a month prior.) I touched down about 8 a.m. and scurried over to baggage claim where T had promised to meet me. Well, he wasn’t flippin there and didn’t show for another two hours.

 

First Strike

When he finally picked me up he happened to still be messed up on whatever he was doing the night before so he was all sketched out. Typical Frat Boy douche baggary! I tried to push my annoyance aside and I decided I wanted breakfast. Afterward breakfast we headed over to his cousin’s. We hung out for a few hours, got drunk then headed out for dinner; Korean BBQ. Before dinner was over the check came and he conveniently had forgotten his wallet. I didn’t think twice about it and thought, “Cool, he’ll get me later.”

 

The following day we left Dallas and headed back to Duncan, OK. I reminded him he should pump gas, but he was weird about his gas tank not being filled more than half way. He said we’d make it there on half a tank so I just let it go. I, of all people know what it is like to have odd quirks, but then halfway through the trip he pulled into a gas station to pump gas. He went inside to pay for his gas and came out on the phone with someone. He sounded upset and said his card was frozen due to fraud and he would have to wait at least an hour before the bank could do anything about it. Well, I was not going to wait in the heat for an hour so I just paid for the gas.

 

When we finally got to Duncan he took me by my sister’s place for a visit and to drop off all the Vietnamese food I had picked up for her in Dallas. Well, he got a phone call and needed to leave to work for a little while so I just hung out with my sister. When he picked me up he was obviously stressed out yet again. I asked him what his deal was and with tears in his eyes he told me his Dad had stopped by his house to “bug” it and he couldn’t enter the premises until tomorrow. He cried about being homeless and having nowhere to go. I thought to myself, “bit dramatic?” Just rent a flipping hotel room douche!

We couldn’t even do that. By this time I had run out of cash and my pay check had not posted in my account yet. I couldn’t go to the bank to withdraw cash from my savings because there were NO, ZERO, ZIP Wells Fargo banks in the state of Oklahoma. On the other hand, his federal credit union was conveniently closed, thus making us screwed altogether.

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SO…. AGAIN, whilst he cried like a little bitch, I tried to lighten up the crappy solution he put us both in by suggesting we go on an adventure and camp somewhere lakeside. He would just need to get his camping equipment he had been bragging about the past few weeks from his garage and we could begin our “adventure”. He continued to make excuses of not being able to get to his equipment due to the poison. At this point I was out of options so I just got drunk until I passed out in the back seat of his crappy trail blazer.

The next morning, I couldn’t even look at him and I made him drop me off at my sister’s–ALONE. It was so damn hot the night before I needed the comfort of AC and to be away from him for a while. He said he needed to go by his office for some work.

Once I got to my sister’s, I explained to her all of the strange happenings the past few days. I didn’t feel right about the entire scenario, but to be blatantly honest, I wasn’t going to believe I was being played. I had chosen this dude I didn’t know at all over my ex…whom I had been trying to get back with for the better part of a year. I just couldn’t accept I had made a terrible mistake and desperately needed her to somehow reassure me things were okay.

Adventures With Jayde photo

Well that didn’t flipping happen at all. My sister didn’t offer much of any reassurance, but instead she laughed her ass off at me. She did offer to stalk him to see if what he claimed all along had any truth. First off, we drove by the “court house” he always claimed to be at. He wasn’t there. Secondly, we called the DA’s office to see if he really worked there–needless to say he didn’t. Thirdly, we googled him. Found his address and we drove by his house. Lastly, we revisited all of the scenarios I felt I was being lied to about. We did all of this and yet I was too stubborn to actually believe it. I wanted to see his house for myself. I wanted to catch him in all of his lies before I listened to my own intuition.

Needless to state the obvious. Yes, I wasted another two days spending all of my time and money on this dumb ass until I finally cornered his cousin and caught him red handed in a shit ton of ridiculous lies. Not only did this fucker lie about his job, his house being his parent’s house, but he was, of all things BROKE! UGH. Besides the fact that he was a compulsive liar, the fact he was broke and deceived me was what pissed me off the most. If I had known he was broke as hell I wouldn’t have wasted my time and money on his ass.

 

I am getting older and have dealt with a certain standard of guys over my dating years. I had started from the bottom and screwed my way to the top and was not going to start at the bottom again! That is ridiculous. I was worth more than a liar, manipulating loser who had the audacity to excuse his lies with “being broken”.

No….. not “broken”…..just “broke”.

In conclusion, after five days of the worse mind screwing bender possible I made it home. Not without realizing a few things though:

Jayde will not do broke.

Jayde will not ever flipping do liars.

Jayde will start listening to her intuition.

Jayde is getting far too flipping old for this bullshit.

…….At least the dick was the bomb.

Yours lewdly,

Jayde Onyx Lei

CrasianGuy: You say you’ve screwed your way to the top. Is this suppose to be some expression to admit you are a gold digger?

Jayde: Wealth is not the first thing I care about, but I will not lie and say I do not wish to be taken care of. I aspire to be a housewife one day and this will never happen if my husband doesn’t work, lives with his parents, and is broke. At least I could be true to myself and admit this. Doesn’t make me a gold digger, makes me smart.

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3 comments

  1. Fun romp and really love the photography. Great soft look of a beautiful model.

  2. Very hot and erotic. I like your writing Jayde!

  3. Photos are erotica and the story is both hot and damn funny!

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