Why envy, jealousy and schadenfreude should be left in the back of the closet.
Admit it. At one time or another, a quiet flush of anger has washed over your cheeks as you’ve eyed your partner getting attention from another.
It could also have been that time a lithely modelesque figure walked past you, wearing painfully tight leggings, on your fat day.
Then there was the time you read about a celebrity securing yet another multi-million dollar deal, the stupid piece of art work that made you feel you could have done better, or the old school buddy with the hottest wife…
You’ve been jealous and if you say that you haven’t you’re lying. You certainly have, at one time or another, fallen into the 73 per cent of women and 27 per cent of men (the rest were too mucho to admit it) that have experienced the green-eyed monster.
I’ll even grant you this: there are times when your jealousy is justified – when a stranger puts their hand on your man’s leg, or when another offers to buy your girl a drink right in front of you.
It’s territory. We want to protect what we have with our significant other and, therefore, jealousy is part and parcel with the whole experience of love or lust.
However, when your jealousy reaches unsightly levels, you’re on your own, kid. There is no means to justify the cattiness, leg-tripping, frothing-at-the-mouth antics that you’ll engage in.
The following situations should be kept locked away from the public, much like the portrait of Dorian Gray, to be seen as often as that pair of satin pajama pants you used to rock – ie. never.
WHEN YOU GLEEFULLY LAUGH AT ANOTHER’S DEMISE
Sure, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Is it not revenge enough for you that their life is in tatters?
This may not apply to watching the rise and fall of dictators but it certainly does to the recent display of misdirected schadenfreude that accompanied the recent Ashley Madison hack.
No, we shouldn’t feel sorry for those that willingly cheat on their significant other. However, the discretions of these internet adulterers were made public for not only their partners to see but for pretty much anyone that can navigate their way through a simple search tool. Their names, home addresses, company emails (if they were stupid enough to register from work) and other delicate information could also be accessed.
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The fall out resulted in certain users taking their own life.
The gleeful schadenfreude also failed to acknowledge that certain users engaged with the service to explore their sexualities away from persecution. Such as the anonymous gay man from Saudi Arabia whose sexuality would be considered punishable by death:
“I only used AM to hook up with single guys. Most of you are Westerners in countries that are relatively liberal on LGBT issues. For those of you who are older–try to think back to a time 10 or 20 years again when homosexuality was intensely stigmatized. Multiply that horrible feeling of stigma by a million, and add the threat of beheading/stoning. That’s why I used AM to have discreet encounters…”
Still feeling gleefully giddy about riding on your moral high horse?
WHEN YOU NIT PICK AT ANOTHER PERSON’S LOOKS
“I don’t get why Miranda Kerr is everywhere! She looks like an alien!”
“Giselle Bundchen is not even hot! Her face is very manly….”
Oh, OK, doll. So you seem to be the queen of reigning beauty and everyone else is just a pale comparison.
An assault on the looks of those earning millions on them is a clear cut sign you’re about to turn a Hulk-like hue of green with jealousy.
You don’t need a psychiatrist to realize your catty comments are merely holding up a mirror to your own insecurities.
If you genuinely feel that Amal Clooney looks like a horse, or Kate Moss has fish eyes, you better have the perfection to back it up.
Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or many beholders if you’re Gigi Hadid.
WHEN YOU THINK ANYONE THAT DRIVES A SPORTS CAR IS A WANKER
Image Credit: Telegraph UK
Sure they’re a wanker and so are you. Everyone wanks but that’s beside the point. They didn’t get to purchase a car through the act of self-love.
Unless nepotism, or corruption was involved, most of the time the sports car drivers earned their wheels through blood, sweat and tears. Something that you can do yourself.
Same rule applies to those that can’t stand the girl with the Chanel bag, or hate the fact that she’s dating someone wealthy or successful, too.
What’s the problem? Think that anyone that dates someone wealthy is only after their money? You’d only be happy if she was dating a bum?
No. The truth is that you feel that you’re deserving of the cars, bags and wealth and that’s why you can’t tolerate anyone else having what you assume is your God-given right.
Well, I’ve got news for you, bud. The world owes you NOTHING and that chip on your shoulder needs to be fixed stat.
Got that, Paris?
WHEN YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB
Why didn’t you? You know why. Because you wasted your time attacking those that actually did do something instead of focusing on what you should’ve done.
Hey, if you think you deserved that contract, or raise, or a statue of yourself on Capitol Hill, then log out of Twitter, stop wasting your time attacking others with your ill-placed comments and get on with the job.
You may not get all that your heart desires but at least you’ll be more welcome in social circles. No one wants to hang with a disgruntled curmudgeon.
So, kids, the moral of the story is that mindless jealousy is a waste of time.
To counteract your envious ways, I suggest you firstly discover why you’re so envious. It’s usually an indication as to what you want or what you’re lacking.
Use those that drive your blood to boiling point as inspiration instead of another outlet for your hatred.
And always come from a place of kindness.
In the Ashley Madison example, it may be easy to shake your fist at adulterers, especially if you’ve been hurt by cheating partners yourself. However, when you look at the bigger picture – the breach of privacy, suicide, ruined lives and lost jobs – there’s really nothing to be condescending about.
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