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Tits Behind The Taps: Observing The Act Of Courting

Some of the most entertaining interactions to observe as a bartender are people on a date. Not just meeting people at the bar but people who go on dates to the bar.

tits behind the taps photo

 

First off lets examine the characteristics of the serial dater. These are men who bring in several different women into the same bar in typically less than a week. Although it is most often a man, I have also witnessed the female serial dater. The serial dater often isn’t the smoothest motherfucker in the bar, but he is smooth enough to rack up the date numbers. Serial daters are famous at most saloons for hitting on their waitress or bartender. Often the moment his date goes to the bathroom he’s throwing his well-honed lines at the nearest woman. My favorite serial dater even wrote his phone number down on a receipt before exiting with his date. Lets be real. If your bartender is going to go out with a customer, it’s not going to be the douche bringing in a different lady every other night.

Another entertaining dating interaction to observe are blind dates. These dates are commonly initiated from Internet dating websites. The only thing these poor couples have for knowledge going into the date is a few images that have been carefully chosen for their angles and cyber chatting. Internet dates are common these days with Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Match, and OkCupid. These dates are often easy to spot because both parties are often awkward and very nervous.

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One of the most memorable blind dates that I had the pleasure of observing was where a man was expecting a woman to arrive and was quite surprised to find that his date had an Adam’s apple larger than his and could palm a basketball. After his irritated date left he proclaimed to anyone that would listen, “I’m straight, I’m straight!”

RoycetheStallion asks:

What percentage of blind dates do you see workout with the couples leaving together?

Our Chesty Bartender answers:

Well Royce the Stallion, love the name by the way, makes me think of a Rocky movie, I would guess about 50%. Of course I am only seeing the date progress in the bar and don’t follow them all the way to the boudoir. I should modify the answer to say 50% leave together, can’t confirm the working out part. Many couples could leave together, but go their separate ways when they hit the sidewalk outside the bar. I would say 10% of the time blind dates end with touching or holding hands. In contrast I have seen the awkward departure of one dater alone and the remaining dater having another drink to ensure the coast is clear before attempting to exit the bar. Sometimes the remaining dater backs that drink up with a couple of shots to ease the pain of a bad situation.

Drink of the week: John Daly

The weather is getting nice; it’s time for refreshing cool beverages. This week’s drink is easy. Pour a few shots in a glass full of ice, add in some ice tea and garnish with a lemon. For added flavor muddle some lemon with the vodka and you have a modified John Daly (Arnold Palmer with booze).

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