Thursday , November 23 2017
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Tag Archives: dating advice

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Getting Notty With Eva: Happy 4th Of July America!

Photo credit: https://www.instagram.com/ricardojphotography/ Not a pity party just read….. I am not for one second wanting you to think awe poor girl, so if you do stop. I am simply doing something I am passionate about and that is writing. It just so happens that writing is the best way for me to deal with things and to clear my mind. By the time I’m done writing, I will have solved the problem that is weighing heavy on my heart or written it out of my life. I often forget that my looks are something that people see as a threat or a conquest. When men look at me, they think I am a challenge. What man doesn’t love a good chase? I should be ...

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Bad Advice With Staci Monroe #4

Congratulations to Harry and Courtney for winning this week’s TTS Swag! Hey All! I’ve been asked by the powers that be to tone down my language a bit, so today’s column will feature a newer, gentler Staci. We’re going to- Hey, wait, where are you going, I still give good advice, commmmeee baaaacccckkkk!!!!! Image credit: wikihow How do I groom properly? I’m a hairy guy and I know that look is not for everyone, but everywhere I turn I’m seeing conflicting views! Shave it all, shave the balls, don’t shave because you are a man not a baby. It looks bigger when you shave, leave some, leave a lot but not too much! And what about the rest of your body? I know when you’re ...

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Bad Advice with Staci Monroe #3

Congratulations to Kendra and Tiffy for winning TTS Swag! Welcome back! No witty pre-question banter today, there’s questions to answer and lives to change! Let’s get to it. Image credit: www.youngadventuress.com How do you tell your friend their kid is an asshole and you want to smack both of them? –Kendra, Colorado Springs Kendra, sweetie, honey, baby, darling. Let me ask you something. How do you imagine this scenario playing out for you? Do you think you’re going to clue your friend in to this fact and the heavens are going to part, a choir of angels will start singing and their face will light up? Do you think they’ll look at you with tears in their eyes and say “You’re right. I- I never ...

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Tits Behind The Taps: Observing The Act Of Courting

Some of the most entertaining interactions to observe as a bartender are people on a date. Not just meeting people at the bar but people who go on dates to the bar.   First off lets examine the characteristics of the serial dater. These are men who bring in several different women into the same bar in typically less than a week. Although it is most often a man, I have also witnessed the female serial dater. The serial dater often isn’t the smoothest motherfucker in the bar, but he is smooth enough to rack up the date numbers. Serial daters are famous at most saloons for hitting on their waitress or bartender. Often the moment his date goes to the bathroom he’s throwing his ...

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Bad Advice With Staci Monroe #2

Congratulations to Mike and Meredith for winning this week’s TTS Swag! Welcome back! With week one firmly under our belt, I can safely say: You guys are all perverts. Asking me to send you nudes does not, in fact, constitute a question that can be safely answered in an advice column. But for the rest of you, I am here to help. Let’s get to it. Image credit: www.quickmemes.com What do you do when you stumble upon your significant other’s porn stash, and it’s crazier than you were expecting? – Mike, Newark Well Mike, I think we need to look at what you mean by “crazier”. What’s crazy? Things that are perfectly acceptable to some people, say, oh I don’t know, just off the top ...

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Bad Advice With Staci Monroe

Hello and Welcome to Bad Advice, column where I, Staci Monroe, do my best not to lose interest in your questions halfway through reading them and start fantasizing about that Burrito I had last night. Damn, that was a good burrito. Anyway, let’s dive right in, shall we? I have reached middle age and it’s all downhill from here. My wife is encouraging me to get a BMW, so as to focus my mid-life crisis energy and dissuade me from getting more tattoos. While I like BMWs, I also like Mustangs. She does not like Mustangs. Is it true that “Mustangs are for douche bags” and that “Owning a Mustang is a sign that you have a small penis”? Because while I do have a ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Scoring In Miami

Hello Jayde here. Just back from a writing gig in Los loco Miami. Apparently it was a riot because I came back with a nasty rash all over my body and a fever I have been having the most difficult time getting over. But my stubborn ass refuses to go to the doctor for anything other than a severed limb. Thrill Girl customized prints for sale! Click HERE to find out how to purchase your made-to-order Thrill Girl photography print!  So Miami: The cons. I am severely allergic to high doses of UV rays. This is why I am nocturnal. Well, I decided to sunbathe and fell asleep from the relaxing sounds of the ocean waves and slow blowing breeze. Even under an umbrella I ended up ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Tinder = Love

If you live in the reality of generation XY and are single chances are you have most likely cuddled up by a nice scorching fire with a glass of wine and your trusty mobile device getting ready to swipe right or in my case left. Well, I have been swiping left for months now. Every third blue moon when the tide is high and the apes are mating I will find one match among the triple digits I would like to “court” or at least my pussy would want to sit on. Either which way I have found three in the span of eight months that I have willfully “sat” on. The first two I didn’t get “nasty” so to speak until the fourth or ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Dick Be Nimble

Congratulations to Zander for winning TTS swag for asking Jayde a question! Since relocating back to Houston, TX this past summer I have been whoring around like nobody’s business. If it isn’t one Tinder date failed it is the never ending line of terrible blind dates my mother has been relentlessly setting me up on. I suppose since I will be 28 in less than three weeks my mother is desperate to marry me off to the first rich, fairly mentally stable man she can find. Bloody amazing. Another year and she will be offering a goat, three bags of shillings and her own kitty as some warped form of a dowry. Anyhow……messing around. Yes, I have been dating myself shameless. At the beginning of ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Dr. Gingerbread

Be sure to check out Jayde’s pictorial by clicking HERE!  Continued from Blame It On Yoga….. I got all dolled up and attended my appointment with doctor…lets call her “Gingerbread”, because she was a mighty sweet treat…..yum. When I arrived I sat in the waiting room for about twenty minutes filling out the proper paperwork until the Medical Assistant called me into an examination room. The MA (which was a hottie) took the usual blood pressure, temperature and weight before leaving. As I sat there waiting for my examination my mind began to fantasize about what she would look like.   I envisioned a hot, lesbian doctor in a very short, baby doll dress, overly done make-up, and curled purple locks. Another twenty minutes or ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Blame It On Yoga

As a beginner yoga patron muscles in my shoulders, neck, as well as my lower back were tense and sore from all the strenuous stretching. By day three of yoga I was really, really sore.  I decided to call it a night and just masturbate myself into a blitz. I had to catch an early morning flight to Chicago for work. I got through my first orgasm fairly quickly as I hadn’t rubbed one out in quite sometime (two days).  I wasn’t satisfied. I decided to switch up the porn to something more DPish.  I had one hand grasping my phone\porn and the other down in my nether regions. Before I dove into mission O2 I repositioned my neck. Well this was about the most ...

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Catfished: Adventures With Jayde

Jayde here. I decided to give Tinder another whirl and swiped right on this “nice” boy in Duncan, OK when I was visiting my sister during the fourth of July holiday week. Possibly the worst idea ever. Screw you Tinder. Anyhow, the story goes T and I got to know each other for a month before I decided to take a trip back to OK to visit him. He was this amazing investigator for the town he lived in. He lived off the golf course in the nicer part of town. He was tall, handsome, twenty-nine with a stable career and life. After all, this was something I always felt I needed…..right? Bloody wrong! The entire trip was a flippin nightmare!! Not only was I ...

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The Wondering Mind Of Eva: Love My Haters and Puppies

    Thought this was funny to come across on the web. I never thought about it.  So Funny To Think I Branded Myself and I Am Actually Doing Something Right. When someone grows up being told every day of their life they will amount to nothing and actually end up being something and beats the odds that is amazing. In my eyes the world is such a negative place and having the motivation to succeed is admirable. Being an abused adolescent I grew up mad at the world thinking that men only spoke with their hands.  I had to go through some really hard times at a young age with the rage of a thousand titans  boiling inside me.  I hated the world and ...

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