Saturday , May 27 2017
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Tag Archives: funny stories

The Uncensored Stripper photo

Foot Fetishes By The Uncensored Stripper

Ah, the foot fetish guys. I say guys because I don’t think—in all my years in the sex industry—I’ve known a woman who ejaculates from touching a man’s feet; or licking them. Toes in the vagina, maybe, but that’s probably more kink than fetish. There’s a slight difference. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I think kinks are organic and in the moment, something that turns you on, whereas, fetishes are more serious with regard to the person’s devotion. I understand taboos and sex. I’ve thought about fucking my friend’s significant others when I make myself cum. Sneaking around, doing something we know is bad, or hooking up with them while their wives are passed out in the same bed. But feet aren’t ...

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thrill-girl-Jayde-Onyx-in-bed-The-Thrill-Society

Adventures With Jayde: Scoring In Miami

Hello Jayde here. Just back from a writing gig in Los loco Miami. Apparently it was a riot because I came back with a nasty rash all over my body and a fever I have been having the most difficult time getting over. But my stubborn ass refuses to go to the doctor for anything other than a severed limb. Thrill Girl customized prints for sale! Click HERE to find out how to purchase your made-to-order Thrill Girl photography print!  So Miami: The cons. I am severely allergic to high doses of UV rays. This is why I am nocturnal. Well, I decided to sunbathe and fell asleep from the relaxing sounds of the ocean waves and slow blowing breeze. Even under an umbrella I ended up ...

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tart behind the cart photo

Tart Behind The Cart: Hello Goodbye

When you board an airplane there is usually a flight attendant there to greet and welcome you on board. Generally they are warm and inviting.  Do you respond? In my years of experience no you fucking don’t! I’m lucky if I get a smile or maybe a head nod. Do you think that I want to be standing up there welcoming your punk ass on board? No I would rather be in the corner texting or on social media. Second of all its rude. If somebody is saying hello to you and you don’t say hi back, rude!  If they ask how you are doing and you duck your head and look at your feet, rude!  Screw you! After the flight has been completed, you ...

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This Bell(e) Didn’t Need Saving

Since this is not a tell-all about anyone other than about myself, I won’t bore you with the tales of the famous people I’ve met and have danced for over the years. But I will tell you about one of my most disappointing and my most surprisingly fun encounters. Both took place at the Mitchell Brothers O’Farrell Theatre. Mitchell Brothers is on the corner of Polk and O’Farrell in San Francisco. There are huge murals on the outside walls. One depicts a rainforest while the other has an underwater scene featuring life-size whales and dolphins. When I was a kid, I remember thinking the building was a zoo or an aquarium and that Tommy’s Joynt–a city landmark that had murals depicting busty saloon girls in ...

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compliments of titsandwits.com

@theuncensoredstripper– Behind the Scenes (Part 2)

Most of these images are for sale at titsandwit.com   Additional original writing by The Uncensored Stripper   Follow at @theuncensoredstripper on Instragram The Bare Elegance; my LA home club: {12} This is where it all started: the writing. I wrote most of the first book, Anything But a Wasted Life,             in this room. This was one of my co-workers. I shot her on a Sunday morning. The only day the club is closed for business. This was the first strip club I ever worked at with a kitchen. It took time to get used to men eating (sometimes while sitting at the stage!), but the food was surprisingly good. Many a meal over my ten years at The ...

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Curiously Interesting Hotel

A Stumbling Otis Original We were young, poor and had done our very best to pay for our own wedding, so the gift was perfect. The gift was a honeymoon. It came wrapped in a Hallmark envelop from my bride’s father and step-mom. The card said, “This coupon good for three nights on the water in Laguna Beach”. Fucking beautiful, we were tapped out so until then our honeymoon looked like box wine and filthy, bedroom sex. “Filthy, bedroom sex” being a classic double entendre: as our bedroom is typically filthy, and this being our honeymoon….well. Figure it out. We had survived a week of last minute planning, out-of-town visitors, a drug-addled bachelor party (ok that was just me), an intimate “family” only wedding under ...

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Down The Rabbit Hole Vol. 3 – Game of Thrones

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun. Or not. Actually I’m not sure I ever did. Either way, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Being young, that is.   Probably too much. I mean, what gives with my back? And I just realized my softball glove is 26 years old. I hate every piece of clothing I own, yet the fucking closet is jam-packed with bright ideas, what-ifs, and wear-somedays. I am this close (THIS CLOSE!) to throwing it all out. I would if I wasn’t so lazy. I really would….. but   You know me– Lazy Bitch     Today I won’t complain about trolls, dusty wood-slat blinds, the disgusting texture of cottage cheese (just to prove I’m not that ...

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compliments of titsandwit.com

@theuncensoredstripper–Behind the Scenes (Part 1 of 2)

Most of these images are for sale at titsandwit.com   Additional original writing by The Uncensored Stripper   Follow at @theuncensoredstripper on Instragram Chase at the Biltmore: {1-2} The model is a long-time friend of mine. We met at my Los Angeles home club (a “home club” is where a stripper has worked for a long period of time—she may travel to dance, or work at other clubs, but a “home club” is her staple). I had a ton of friends at the club, but only a few I hung out with outside (not including photo shoots), and Chase was/is one of them. She’s a nut, but a lovable one. Chase is my go-to Halloween partner, art show curator, and second photography muse. A friend ...

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Prostitution and Psilocybin: A Hot Mess In Sin City

Holy mother of God, I flew to Las Vegas last night to see my john, “The Texan”. It was our very first rendezvous out of town. We had the craziest night, a definite first in my hooking career. He was so excited to hear that I was newly boyfriend-free, he immediately bought me a plane ticket to meet him in Vegas for a night. He texted me the room number as I landed, and when I arrived at the hotel, there were post-it notes all over with messages for me (he knows I’m a post-it note freak): On the elevator ceiling, down the long hallway and all over the room. Things like “Hello” and “Put your bags here”.  Another note told me to head to ...

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Skull smoking

Heaven, Hell, and the Dead!

A Stumbling Otis Original In May of 1995 the Grateful Dead played their last show in Las Vegas, Nevada. Four months later Jerry Garcia would die of a suspected cocaine-induced heart attack. Though the legacy echoes on, the death of Jerry Garcia was essentially the coffin nail to one of the greatest phenomenon of modern human history. Quite literally this tiny handful of hippie musicians tapped into an energy unrivaled and spurned a migration only comparable to the wildebeest herds of the Serengeti; this isn’t spinnerhead bullshit, the numbers are simply that large. Listen, you don’t have to like the Dead, you don’t have to get the Dead but despite your personal visions of the cosmic, everyone should respect the Grateful Dead. They earned it. ...

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Dennis’s Abrupt Halt–

A Stumbling Otis Original A Mostly True Tale — CELEBRITY ENCOUNTER EDITION We at the Thrill Society are constantly in search of things that dazzle people, ‘thrill’ them if that’s not too obvious. What we really want is to find that spark of excitement that engages YOU, our beloved viewer, to respond by submitting your own THRILLING sliver of the world.   Your voice, your photo, your footage, your words, your music— We think YOU are all THRILLING. Jep Roadie and other rappers have submitted their music videos, Caelia Might submits an almost weekly rant, Chef Danchez does a video cooking show, Crog Tierney submitted photos and video footage of kickass mountain bike riding, the Uncensored Stripper offered a revealing interview, the mysterious Rambling traveler teaches ...

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Mostly True Tales Pic

So We Egged A Porn Shop!

This weeks Mostly True Tales submission winner is Stumbling Otis Find him on Instagram at @grandreopening for tons of great pics and prose  In the early 90’s there was a quaint little porn shack on the main drag in Kalispell, Montana. It was nondescript in a way typical for a boutiques of its type. The building looked to be a converted old house, slightly ramshackle and in need of a hug. The windows were painted over white to shield the Flathead’s citizenry from forced acknowledgment of their inherent horniness. Little more than a window placard and a slightly embarrassed, glowing OPEN sign advertised its invitation for commerce. There was no official parking lot, the front door swung directly onto the narrow sidewalk, almost past the ...

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mostly true tales photo

Pepe The Condom Eating Chihuahua

Now before we meet Pepe the condom eating Chihuahua let’s meet Jill, Pepe’s owner. However, before we meet Jill let’s meet Nancy because the story really starts with her. Everyone’s name has been changed to protect the innocent except for Pepe, who is an Ahole and if you ever meet Pepe please take two fast steps and punt him at least 10 feet into the air for me. Would you please? So after a PBR fueled evening I managed to secure Nancy’s digits with the promise to meet in a couple of days for more cocktails. It was going to take that long to get over the pending hangover. Just as sure as swallows returning to Capistrano a couple of days later I am stroking ...

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