Saturday , August 24 2019
Home / Tag Archives: funny stories

Tag Archives: funny stories

Curiously Gay Hotel

A Stumbling Otis Original We were young, poor and had done our very best to pay for our own wedding, so the gift was perfect. The gift was a honeymoon. It came wrapped in a Hallmark envelop from my bride’s father and step-mom. The card said, “This coupon good for three nights on the water in Laguna Beach”. Fucking beautiful, we were tapped out so until then our honeymoon looked like box wine and filthy, bedroom sex. “Filthy, bedroom sex” being a classic double entendre: as our bedroom is typically filthy, and this being our honeymoon….well. Figure it out. We had survived a week of last minute planning, out-of-town visitors, a drug-addled bachelor party (ok that was just me), an intimate “family” only wedding under ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Scoring In Miami

Hello Jayde here. Just back from a writing gig in Los loco Miami. Apparently it was a riot because I came back with a nasty rash all over my body and a fever I have been having the most difficult time getting over. But my stubborn ass refuses to go to the doctor for anything other than a severed limb.  So Miami: The cons. I am severely allergic to high doses of UV rays. This is why I am nocturnal. Well, I decided to sunbathe and fell asleep from the relaxing sounds of the ocean waves and slow blowing breeze. Even under an umbrella I ended up overheating and woke up in the ER from a heat stroke. Needless to say Miami left me with ...

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tart behind the cart photo

Tart Behind The Cart: Hello Goodbye

When you board an airplane there is usually a flight attendant there to greet and welcome you on board. Generally they are warm and inviting.  Do you respond? In my years of experience no you fucking don’t! I’m lucky if I get a smile or maybe a head nod. Do you think that I want to be standing up there welcoming your punk ass on board? No I would rather be in the corner texting or on social media. Second of all its rude. If somebody is saying hello to you and you don’t say hi back, rude!  If they ask how you are doing and you duck your head and look at your feet, rude!  Screw you! After the flight has been completed, you ...

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Down The Rabbit Hole Vol. 3 – Game of Thrones

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun. Or not. Actually I’m not sure I ever did. Either way, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Being young, that is.   Probably too much. I mean, what gives with my back? And I just realized my softball glove is 26 years old. I hate every piece of clothing I own, yet the fucking closet is jam-packed with bright ideas, what-ifs, and wear-somedays. I am this close (THIS CLOSE!) to throwing it all out. I would if I wasn’t so lazy. I really would….. but   You know me– Lazy Bitch     Today I won’t complain about trolls, dusty wood-slat blinds, the disgusting texture of cottage cheese (just to prove I’m not that ...

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Skull smoking

Heaven, Hell, and the Dead!

A Stumbling Otis Original In May of 1995 the Grateful Dead played their last show in Las Vegas, Nevada. Four months later Jerry Garcia would die of a suspected cocaine-induced heart attack. Though the legacy echoes on, the death of Jerry Garcia was essentially the coffin nail to one of the greatest phenomenon of modern human history. Quite literally this tiny handful of hippie musicians tapped into an energy unrivaled and spurned a migration only comparable to the wildebeest herds of the Serengeti; this isn’t spinnerhead bullshit, the numbers are simply that large. Listen, you don’t have to like the Dead, you don’t have to get the Dead but despite your personal visions of the cosmic, everyone should respect the Grateful Dead. They earned it. ...

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Dennis’s Abrupt Halt–

A Stumbling Otis Original A Mostly True Tale — CELEBRITY ENCOUNTER EDITION We at the Thrill Society are constantly in search of things that dazzle people, ‘thrill’ them if that’s not too obvious. What we really want is to find that spark of excitement that engages YOU, our beloved viewer, to respond by submitting your own THRILLING sliver of the world.   Your voice, your photo, your footage, your words, your music— We think YOU are all THRILLING. Jep Roadie and other rappers have submitted their music videos, Caelia Might submits an almost weekly rant, Chef Danchez does a video cooking show, Crog Tierney submitted photos and video footage of kickass mountain bike riding, the Uncensored Stripper offered a revealing interview, the mysterious Rambling traveler teaches ...

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Mostly True Tales Pic

So We Egged A Porn Shop!

This weeks Mostly True Tales submission winner is Stumbling Otis Find him on Instagram at @grandreopening for tons of great pics and prose  In the early 90’s there was a quaint little porn shack on the main drag in Kalispell, Montana. It was nondescript in a way typical for a boutiques of its type. The building looked to be a converted old house, slightly ramshackle and in need of a hug. The windows were painted over white to shield the Flathead’s citizenry from forced acknowledgment of their inherent horniness. Little more than a window placard and a slightly embarrassed, glowing OPEN sign advertised its invitation for commerce. There was no official parking lot, the front door swung directly onto the narrow sidewalk, almost past the ...

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mostly true tales photo

Pepe The Condom Eating Chihuahua

Now before we meet Pepe the condom eating Chihuahua let’s meet Jill, Pepe’s owner. However, before we meet Jill let’s meet Nancy because the story really starts with her. Everyone’s name has been changed to protect the innocent except for Pepe, who is an Ahole and if you ever meet Pepe please take two fast steps and punt him at least 10 feet into the air for me. Would you please? So after a PBR fueled evening I managed to secure Nancy’s digits with the promise to meet in a couple of days for more cocktails. It was going to take that long to get over the pending hangover. Just as sure as swallows returning to Capistrano a couple of days later I am stroking ...

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