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Tag Archives: tales

tart behind the cart photo

Tart Behind The Cart: Emergency Landing

Congratulations to SpeedyRod for winning this week’s TTS Swag! SpeedyRod asks: Have you ever been on a flight where it was necessary to make an emergency landing? Yes I have. I have been a working crew member on two flights and riding as a non-revenue passenger on another flight where it was necessary to make an emergency landing. The first time it happened an elderly lady was experiencing chest pains. I made an announcement asking for a doctor. No doctors on the flight, but we did have a nurse who helped out. The lady was experiencing a lot of chest pain and having trouble breathing. The nurse was not sure of the seriousness of her condition, but recommended we land as soon as possible. All we ...

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Curiously Gay Hotel

A Stumbling Otis Original We were young, poor and had done our very best to pay for our own wedding, so the gift was perfect. The gift was a honeymoon. It came wrapped in a Hallmark envelop from my bride’s father and step-mom. The card said, “This coupon good for three nights on the water in Laguna Beach”. Fucking beautiful, we were tapped out so until then our honeymoon looked like box wine and filthy, bedroom sex. “Filthy, bedroom sex” being a classic double entendre: as our bedroom is typically filthy, and this being our honeymoon….well. Figure it out. We had survived a week of last minute planning, out-of-town visitors, a drug-addled bachelor party (ok that was just me), an intimate “family” only wedding under ...

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smut slut photo

Adventures With Jayde: Airport Jail

I have been to Miami twice since May and needless to say BOTH times turned crazy. But everything is chaos when it comes to me. After all, I wouldn’t be Jayde without the attached chaos! Beautiful white sandy beaches, lewdness, hotness, drunk/disorderly, and jail…. Where do I begin? Let’s start with Miami: I was invited back to Miami for a work trip and this time around I invited my obsession, my ex bf to dribble along. Four days and three nights we spent at Miami’s only gay hotel mingling and celebrating with the gays after the supreme court’s decision to legalize gay marriages. Four days and three nights we spent in bed fucking, fucking, horse playing, and of course fucking! Four blissful days and three ...

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tart behind the cart photo

Tart Behind The Cart: Hello Goodbye

When you board an airplane there is usually a flight attendant there to greet and welcome you on board. Generally they are warm and inviting.  Do you respond? In my years of experience no you fucking don’t! I’m lucky if I get a smile or maybe a head nod. Do you think that I want to be standing up there welcoming your punk ass on board? No I would rather be in the corner texting or on social media. Second of all its rude. If somebody is saying hello to you and you don’t say hi back, rude!  If they ask how you are doing and you duck your head and look at your feet, rude!  Screw you! After the flight has been completed, you ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Bienvenidos!

Bienvenidos! It is your Jayde from Vietnam–not. I am American, born and raised Texan actually. My mother is a native Vietnamese and traditionally traditional. Therefore, when she asked me this past weekend to attend what would be a disastrous blind date I agreed–or was it? My mother typically loves men with power and money thus influential titles. I simply usually date nothing less only because they typically make me their bitch or dominate me so to speak. However, all of those relationships have horrid turnout rates; I end up mind fucking them into submission and realize they were never true alphas from the start. Anyhow, I jumped at the chance for free food and a sneak peek at what my mother deems worthy enough for ...

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Adventures With Jayde: Catfished

Jayde here. I decided to give Tinder another whirl and swiped right on this “nice” boy in Duncan, OK when I was visiting my sister during the fourth of July holiday week. Possibly the worst idea ever. Screw you Tinder. Anyhow, the story goes T and I got to know each other for a month before I decided to take a trip back to OK to visit him. He was this amazing investigator for the town he lived in. He lived off the golf course in the nicer part of town. He was tall, handsome, twenty-nine with a stable career and life. After all, this was something I always felt I needed…..right? Bloody wrong! The entire trip was a flippin nightmare!! Not only was I ...

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Down The Rabbit Hole Vol. 3 – Game of Thrones

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun. Or not. Actually I’m not sure I ever did. Either way, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Being young, that is.   Probably too much. I mean, what gives with my back? And I just realized my softball glove is 26 years old. I hate every piece of clothing I own, yet the fucking closet is jam-packed with bright ideas, what-ifs, and wear-somedays. I am this close (THIS CLOSE!) to throwing it all out. I would if I wasn’t so lazy. I really would….. but   You know me– Lazy Bitch     Today I won’t complain about trolls, dusty wood-slat blinds, the disgusting texture of cottage cheese (just to prove I’m not that ...

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Skull smoking

Heaven, Hell, and the Dead!

A Stumbling Otis Original In May of 1995 the Grateful Dead played their last show in Las Vegas, Nevada. Four months later Jerry Garcia would die of a suspected cocaine-induced heart attack. Though the legacy echoes on, the death of Jerry Garcia was essentially the coffin nail to one of the greatest phenomenon of modern human history. Quite literally this tiny handful of hippie musicians tapped into an energy unrivaled and spurned a migration only comparable to the wildebeest herds of the Serengeti; this isn’t spinnerhead bullshit, the numbers are simply that large. Listen, you don’t have to like the Dead, you don’t have to get the Dead but despite your personal visions of the cosmic, everyone should respect the Grateful Dead. They earned it. ...

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Dennis’s Abrupt Halt–

A Stumbling Otis Original A Mostly True Tale — CELEBRITY ENCOUNTER EDITION We at the Thrill Society are constantly in search of things that dazzle people, ‘thrill’ them if that’s not too obvious. What we really want is to find that spark of excitement that engages YOU, our beloved viewer, to respond by submitting your own THRILLING sliver of the world.   Your voice, your photo, your footage, your words, your music— We think YOU are all THRILLING. Jep Roadie and other rappers have submitted their music videos, Caelia Might submits an almost weekly rant, Chef Danchez does a video cooking show, Crog Tierney submitted photos and video footage of kickass mountain bike riding, the Uncensored Stripper offered a revealing interview, the mysterious Rambling traveler teaches ...

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Damn You Gout!

A Stumbling Otis Original Damn you Gout! An alcoholic’s battle against an affliction that threatens his disease! My old man was a good dude— hard working, light-humored and universally loved, wise and respected but of all the wondrous and life changing things he could have passed down to me…. Things like land with oil, Berkshire Hathaway stock or a 12” dick that dirty prick willed me a bad case of GOUT! Oh gout! Sometimes called gouty arthritis or the “rich man’s disease”; this devil’s lullaby is the accumulation of uric acid in the blood which form razor sharp crystals in the joints. It causes immediate, grotesque swelling and feels like long, lean, red-hot hat pins are being jabbed between the toes though the length of ...

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celebrity encounters photo


One calm nice night, I went to see a movie. I was innocently sitting there, eating my neighbor’s popcorn, watching the 2005 movie, “I WALK THE LINE” starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon and about the early part of Johnny Cash’s life. A little known scene flashed on the big movie screen, and I thought I was going to faint. I know my heart stopped, and my tiny hairs stood up on the back of my neck. I lost all color in my face, and the feeling went out of my limbs. All I could think of was the next shot would be a close up of my childhood house. The scene was about midway through the movie. By that time in life and the ...

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Mostly True Tales Pic

So We Egged A Porn Shop!

This weeks Mostly True Tales submission winner is Stumbling Otis Find him on Instagram at @grandreopening for tons of great pics and prose  In the early 90’s there was a quaint little porn shack on the main drag in Kalispell, Montana. It was nondescript in a way typical for a boutiques of its type. The building looked to be a converted old house, slightly ramshackle and in need of a hug. The windows were painted over white to shield the Flathead’s citizenry from forced acknowledgment of their inherent horniness. Little more than a window placard and a slightly embarrassed, glowing OPEN sign advertised its invitation for commerce. There was no official parking lot, the front door swung directly onto the narrow sidewalk, almost past the ...

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Shit Fit!

A Stumbling Otis Original  This took place a long, long time ago. I was about seven and I had a shit fit, at least that’s what my Dad called it.   A fucking bad day is what I called it. I was a farm boy. I grew up working, that’s why my parents had me; to do shit. After marriage they waited seven years, till the chores piled up, before Ma popped me in the oven. There was a plan, believe me. I was no accident of passion; no awkward, backseat hotshot. Anyway, it was hay season, late summer and hot. August soil thin as dirty flour stuck in every pore. The dry scratch of the dusty air was amplified by wheat chafe; it made ...

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