Having a what if type of day….
Me at age the age of 2….So young, so innocent.
Having such a bad day that it has me asking myself all of these what if Having a what if type of day…..I would’ve questions. Like what if I really was given up for adoption like my mother said she was going to do? What would my life be like had I not moved out when I was 15? Would life be better or worse? I generally love my life and everything good or bad that happens in it. I try to stay positive because I know god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and not a single thing is put in my life that I can’t handle or there was not something I needed to learn from it.
I just find it very hard these days to swallow the fact that there are so many more bad people in this world than good and the sense of entitlement that people have is absolutely un freakin real. I wish sometimes I could have that so I would not care about others. Then I snap back to reality and realize that the biggest thing about me is my heart and the ability to seek out the good in all I do and people I come across in life.
Not everyone was born with common sense. I don’t hate them for that. I feel bad that they have to got thru life with the dumb look on their faces and have to rely on others to make decisions or to support them financially because they are not survivors. They are leaches.
Is lying the new fad? When did I become so gullible? Why do I allow people in my life that do not deserve it? Is it simply for the fact that I think I can help them, even when I know it is impossible to help someone that does not want to help themselves?
I wish I could honestly go back and do a few things different, but am glad wishing is not reality. I love my life and wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. I have come a long way in life and still have so much more to accomplish. Looking back at this baby picture I don’t think I would’ve ever thought I would’ve ever been thru as much or turned out to be the person that I am. One thing I can say is that I sure am getting better with age! LOL
This was me so innocent and still very much so innocent. I wish people could be a little less judgmental and worry about their own lives and let others live theirs. Yet on the other hand I am truly grateful for the select few haters that I have because without them I would not be the strong kind hearted loving person that I am. Nor would I have lost all that weight and be as healthy as I am today.
So thank you to all! If I was to die tomorrow and my maker asked me what was the hardest thing I had to face everyday? I would say “ being kind to myself .” The power of thought is so easily forgotten. If you think of only bad things happening then you can only see bad things as the outcome and you are always preparing yourself for the negative outcome.
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Well surprise America , if you can do that with the negative then you can do it with the positive just as easy, but the process has a blissful ending. I think I am ready for some big things in life, but am too scared to attempt these things. Not exactly sure if it is because of change or the fear of it failing. I have failed at so many things, but gained so much knowledge. I feel there is no loss at failing, just failing to lose my ambition.